I WOULD TOTALLY EAT THAT

Although my tolerance for a lot of things has decreased recently (art, people who make or talk about art, things that are boring, etc) I still have a very high tolerance for "ick" or "gross"

My favorite "ick" or "gross" thing lately is something I'm going to dub Faux Cannibalism. I love the idea of eating yummy things that look like body parts. Of course, somethings will be far more realistic and disturbing than others, but to me the idea of faux cannibalism is to maintain the functionality (ie tastiness) of the food while making the experience more fun/gross. Basically, I want to eat jello brains but I still want them to taste like jello.

Not the best example, but look I am totally going to eat those jello brains---->




















I would also eat this scary, scary bread


and this cake

PLANT BABIES

LOOKIT. THOSE ARE GREEN BEANS. I GREW THEM.

Helminth Infections

Alright guys, it is time for some real nerding around. Today in my Infectious Diseases class we talked about 2 things that were just too gross- I can't not share this stuff with you.

1. hookworms- they get inside you through your skin (walking around barefoot), make their way to your blood vessels and hang out in your lungs, from which they are coughed up, swallowed and attach to the mucosa of the small intestines to feed on your blood.

2. roundworms- you swallow the eggs from contaminated food/water, the larvae migrate to your heart, lungs, and intestines to mature and feed. Worms as big as 1 foot have been reported. They can exit your body by slithering out your nose or mouth while you sleep.

The chances of me having any kind of worm infection are slim to none (the same goes for you), but I am pretty freaked out every time I cough now.

Also, I was going to include some pictures....but I threw up in my mouth a little when I saw the google image results for "roundworms in humans"

Am I Flirting?

Well, I am always damn well positive when I am flirting- and if you are the one I am flirting with I don't know how you could possibly be confused.

But I guess there are people that don't have flirting on their minds 24/7. For you unfortunate souls, there is a fantastic resource for you- Am I Flirting?

• Are you flirting if you pretend to be interested in __________?
• Are you flirting if you Twitter about a cute barista?
• Are you flirting if you go to Sur La Table for a new knife sharpener and ask the sales guy to explain the pros and cons of every one there?....What if you ask for a demonstration?

Never fear, the wonderful Jay Hathaway is here for you when you urgently need to know whether something is flirting.

(yes, i did that to the sales guy at sur la table. yes, i was flirting. and it was awesome)

MoBo

thanks wooster for the image. seen on the streets of Belfast

so there hasn't been an occasion for me to 'party blerg' about in a while. hopefully that will change after this event that i am really looking forward to:

MoBo Bicycle Cooperative 3rd Annual Fundraiser.
May 16th. Off the Avenue Studios 1546 Knowlton Ave 7pm-1am
Music, free food, GOLDSPRINTS!, booze (for a small donation), and HOT DUDES ON BIKES.
$10 for members, $12 for non-members.

i went last year and had a wonderful time. you better believe that i am willing to shell out my hard earned cash to help MoBo continue their mission!

you may be wondering, "so, what is their mission? and what the fuck is MoBo?"
well i am not going to tell you. go to the website and read about them. and if you live in cincy, come to the party!

BLING

my new excuse for not riding my bike as much as i should: metal allergy

i for real have a metal allergy to everything but gold. honestly, it is a pretty convenient allergy to have, plus i can totally tell when i get fake jewelery.

obviously the steel trek 360 i have just wont do. i want this one!i'm talking hand built, 24K gold plated, 600 Swarovski crystals, and only $100,000.

wayyy more freshest!

gross and uncomfortable

because i already admitted that hot dudes are the only thing i love in life, i guess i can only really really like these things: 1. the new quizno's commercial 2. birthday sex.

both things are a little gross, pretty uncomfortable, and totally hilarious. for those of you who haven't seen the quizno's commercial, just you wait!

oh my god. so i was googling the quizno's commercial to link in blog for y'all to see and the one i found is different, way more gross, and wayyyyy more better!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LQpRQh2KSQ
holy, fuck! you have to watch this. the one i've seen on tv is what i was originally blerging about, but there is no going back now that i've seen this one.

the other thing i love: birthday sex!
this song is the greatest. "tell me where you want your gift." get it? the gift is his dick.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eALXexdX5sI&feature=related

so maybe i am a little shallow but its not my fault all my friends are beautiful people

Dear Blog, I am sorry for neglecting you lately. I have been very busy, freaked out, and quite frankly uninspired....until about 10 minutes ago.

So there are a few things in life that I truly love.

Actually, there is only one thing: HOT DUDES.

That's right, I love hells of fine dudes. Redheaded dudes, dudes with comedy facial hair, dudes that are much older than me...it doesn't matter because a handsome man is a handsome man. Lately, my favorite brand of hot dude is 'hot dude on bicycle' so nothing speaks to me more than hot dudes on bikes!

Some things I love about hot dudes on bikes:
1. they are totally hot,
2. endurance,
3. they are pretty gay for each other and proud of it,
4. make excellent company,
5. people that are excited and passionate about something are super sexy...even if that passion is about fucking a bicycle

So, hot dudes, if you want to show off those rock-hard thighs and fucked up tan lines, email your photos to hot dudes on bikes via danielle@hotdudesonbikes.com or johnathan@hotdudesonbikes.com.

umm also...check out these totally hot dudes....and ladies on bikes!

2 above: Eco Go Go press photos by Chris Brunn.

1 below: EP being totally hot at polo by unknown

here, nerds